Exclusion
by Begoshi
Summary: In which England and Australia are silly and America feels confused and left out.


_In which Australia and England are silly, and America is confused._

In America's opinion, he didn't get confused often. In fact, he was confused so un-often that it took a lot for him to be confused. But despite this, America was confused.

It was a well known fact that Australia didn't like talking to England, and England didn't like talking to anybody but Japan. Therefore, America was at a loss at the sight of the two nations huddled in a corner, set apart from the world meeting and giggling like schoolgirls.

America, being the hero, would not let curiosity stand and slid out of his seat, using everyone's state of German-speech-induced-stupor to quickly manoeuvre his way towards the cackling pair. When he within earshot of them, the first thing he heard was, "...America looks a hundred bucks!" in a very clear, very British sounding voice. Immediately, America paused. Was there something England wasn't telling him? He knew that they had gotten close in the NATO years, but this... His train of thought was cut short when they both giggled madly again and Australia said,

"Oi thought Oi pacifically said Oi didn't want him in leg-of-mutton sloives!" America took a small step back, and looked down at his sleeves self-consciously. What was Australia on about? And since when did he have any say in what America wore?

"Oh no, Oi think that the mutton dressed as mutton look suits America, Oi think it's noice!" America's brow crinkled and he advanced on the two.

When he reached them, they were practically falling over themselves in laughter, punctuated with the occasional,

"It's noice... unyewsual..."

They noticed America's shadow almost immediately and turned to face the confused superpower. Though the grin Australia bore was nothing new, England's manic smile was something America witnessed very rarely.

"Haha! I, the Hero have come to ask, what are you two doing?" America asked. From the looks they had on their faces, America felt as though asking was a bad idea. But he was a Hero!

Australia raised an eyebrow.

"You know your beeswax, why don't you moind it?" he asked scathingly, in a ridiculous accent America had never heard before. He blinked owlishly.

"What?" England slapped Australia on the shoulder and reprimanded him.

"You little Boi!"

"Give it a bone Dad."

America cleared his throat very obviously and repeated,

"What are you guys doing?" He was promptly ignored. Something that America didn't take too well to.

"Sharon! Those were my last footy franks!"

"What are-"

"Oi didn't know Kimmy!"

"Some second best friend you turned out to be!"

"You aren't even-"

"Oi'll tell you what England, Oi'm loving myself sick here at the moiting."

"Oo, you're making a fiew poiple sick too by the looks Aus... Oh, and cover up your welcome mat! Why didn't you get it lasered when you did your tash?"

"Shut up Dad!"

It was about this point that a very annoyed and red-faced America grabbed Australia's shoulder and demanded,

"Tell me what you are talking about." The duo fell silent for a minute, the only sound being Germany's speech that was slowly tuning some nations catatonic. Then England's voice piped up quietly,

"America, Austraya, look at moi." There was another pause. Suddenly there was a small snigger. After came a chuckle. All at once, England and Australia were rolling on the floor, laughing hard enough that even Germany paused in his dialogue to see what the commotion was. Red-faced and angry, America turned on heel and stormed off.

"Kim Oi said little baby Joisus, not little baby choises!"

"Oi wanna be effluent Dad! Effluent!" With a scream of rage, America slumped in his seat, desperately trying to ignore the obnoxious sounds of laughter that originated from behind.

"Hey Australia, can you tell me what happened on Neighbours last week?"

If you don't understand this you're probably American. The quotes are from an Australian show called Kath and Kim. It's England because English people watch it, and like it. It's the same with Neighbours, but I don't watch that :P I recommend watching Kath and Kim, but the humour is very Australian, so I can't guarantee you'll find it funny.


End file.
